To see the light.

“Let’s drive so far out of this misled town until our feet ache and our eyes drown.”

Have you ever wanted something so badly you would swear to watch the moon change a million times until you got it?

That’s the kind of passion I’ve been looking for. I rarely see people truly dedicated to something enough to break a sweat over these days. Whatever happen to the Martin Luther King Jr. and Susan B. Anthony’s of the world? They had a cause worth fighting for. But to say there aren’t causes worth fighting for to this day would be lie.

We are so wrapped up in our technology, our money, and our material objects that we forget how we got there. We read our history books. We take our quizzes. We pass or we fail, and we move on. Do we ever truly learn from our history? Or are we doomed to repeat it? These questions aren’t newly asked, nor will they soon be answered. 

The moment we stop fighting for our civil rights. Our god given human rights, is the day we will regret ever choosing to live.

What have we to live for if not ourselves? We deserve love, happiness, and liberty. We have many trials ahead of us. But think of the beautiful outcomes we can achieve!

It took the United States 70 some odd years to give women the vote.

How long will it take to abandoned our discrimination against who marries who? Or who wants contraceptives. Or who needs health care?

Most of the world is rapidly starting on fire, and our country is yet to begin building a fire.

We are powerful in ways that most countries have never known, but I am truly sorry that we still deny our own citizens some of their god given rights. 

I vow for no more oppression. I vow to support the people who live in this beautiful country. I vow that my mind will always run open and wide for this world to see.

God bless us all. We are needing to see the light in these dark times.

 

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20 years ago, I was dead.

Purple. That is the color my father uses to describe his first encounter of my skin. My heart wasn’t beating when I escaped my mother’s womb. She was diabetic, and having children wasn’t encouraged by her doctors. But God had a different plan, and 20 years later I am stronger than ever.

I can hardly comprehend that I am now 2 decades old. I finally feel my age. Maybe it’s the sound of twenty or the fact that I no longer have to use the word teen when describing my years of life. Either way, I have never felt more comfortable saying my age out loud. I feel like it fits with the rest of me. 20, however young it may be, feels years away from where I was as a teenager. I feel like I left that part of me years ago. I’ve had to grow up fast, and for the first time since that speedy process started — I’m finally content with being an adult.

It seems like just a few days ago, I was 18. Believing it was the best age to be and that I was going places… 

I suppose the phrase “age is just a number” applies to my life accordingly. An age will not define me. However, once again, I feel much more comfortable nonetheless.

I had an extremely wonderful 20th birthday. I have unbelievable friends who do more for me than they realize. By just being there, they amaze me. Thank you sincerely for dinner, dessert and good company tonight.

I like having a birthday at the beginning of the year. It’s easy to count the years, but it’s also nice to begin a fresh start.

Anyway — To finally get to the content of my title: 20 years ago, I was dead…

Like I said before, I was dead when I arrived in this world. It was hard on my mother to give birth, and being her second child — I had exhausted her raw. The doctors surrounded my mother and my heart stayed still. My father’s step-sister (an RN) gave me simple CPR and I breathed my first breath because of her. I’m thankful for her. I only remember seeing her a few times in my life, but I am truly thankful to her — because I am alive due to her efforts. Thanks Holly. 

I’m lucky to be alive. I’m thankful that my mother made it through the pregnancy to raise me to 12 years, and I’m thankful to my father for helping me out along the way.

I’m so thankful for my sister who keeps me sane.

I have good people in my life. I may be another year older, but boy I know I’m another year wiser. This past year I have been challenged, and I hope to God that never ends — because it means I’m living and fighting to continue to live — and it’s a good feeling to be alive.

 

Happy Birthday to me.

 

#celebrate.

 

Erase You.

Bothered by the ray of light shining directly into my eyes,
I can’t express to you how unfortunate that beautiful sun is in disguise.
I’ll race memories through my mind, but nothing too kind.
I’ll stand above the highest, but no matter what — I’m still biased.
Chasing dreams is so far gone, and I’ve forgotten the words to my favorite song.
I’d drop a thousand bombs on this city,
If it kept me from forgetting.
But God knows these thoughts will escape through my fingers forever,
And I’m threatening to erase you altogether. 
I want nothing more than to remember.
But I know we can’t be together.

Farewell.