And then they stopped talking to me.

Shortly after my parents’ divorce, my mother outed my father to my sister and I.

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She laughed. I cried.

At the time I didn’t truly know what gay meant. I was 7 years old. All I knew was that my mother looked sad and that wasn’t a good thing.

I didn’t want to tell anyone. For quite sometime I was ashamed. I would visit my dad every other weekend and it felt like a vacation every single time. It was stressful to leave, go to and from – but in the moment, it was wonderful. My dad was the happiest I had ever seen him, and maybe he was just trying to make up for breaking up our family – but he did things for my sister and I that we’d never had before. We were like his little trophy’s he’d show off. Being a gay man with biological kids felt like a circus. I felt like I was being watched by the outside world and people would look in with amazement or disgust. 

This feeling no longer exists in my mind. I was very sheltered living in Rexburg; therefore, I didn’t know what else was out there. It wasn’t until I was in 5th grade that I came out about my dad. I told one person. I told a person I trusted and sincerely believed would accept it. Coming out about my dad shouldn’t have been so scary – but in that town, it was. I wasn’t sure what would happen. I told my friend. She told everyone else, and then they stopped talking to me.

Her reaction to me : Ew, that’s gross!

I knew from that moment she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. It was the worst feeling.

At this time, I wasn’t just dealing with this – I was also dealing with my mother’s cancer.

Shortly after, I moved – THANK GOD. Because my mother was in the hospital in Utah causing my sister and I to transfer halfway through the year and moved to Pocatello, ID. (where my dad lived)

I didn’t come out about my dad again until I was a freshman in high school.

My reaction from my friend in HS: That’s cool. I have an uncle that is gay.

Nobody cared. Nobody shunned me. In fact, people embraced me.

To my surprise I didn’t want to burry my body in a hole and never see the sun again. This time I wanted to hug my friend, and I did. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. I was relieved. People still talked to me, and now I am able to say My dad is gay loud and proud!

I have come to realize that who my dad is isn’t who I am. I have also realized that being gay is as natural as being straight. We all come out about our sexuality whether we are gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight etc.

I also realized if people are going to stop talking to you because they don’t agree with you on something, their relationship wasn’t even worth it from the start.

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I’m thankful for this experience. It helped me see people in a different light. It also helped me feel truly happy that I have a gay father. He is unique and through him I have learned to embrace diversity, open my mind, and stand up for the underdog.

Thank you dad. I love you.

Your proud daughter ❤

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